Alibi Encyclopedia · mundane
I Went to the Wrong Funeral
You realized it three eulogies in. You stayed out of respect. He sounded lovely.
The scenario
You arrived at the wrong service, by ten minutes and one parking lot, and by the time you realized it, leaving would have been ruder than staying.
The man's name was Harold. You didn't know Harold. Harold, however, sounded incredible. Three people you didn't know cried during his eulogy. You cried a little too, honestly. You signed the book. You shook the hand of a woman who thanked you for coming.
When you finally checked the address again and realized you were one parking lot off, you slipped out, drove to the correct service, and arrived just in time to be subtly judged for being slightly underdressed for the actual occasion.
Why it works
Surprisingly tender — not all alibis have to be loud. This one earns laughs by being quietly absurd and very human.
How to deliver it
- ★Say it with affection. 'Harold was a good man.'
- ★Sound apologetic but moved.
- ★Keep the program. Show it to no one.
- ★Donate a small amount to Harold's listed charity. He'd appreciate it.
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