Alibi Encyclopedia · absurd

I Won a Contest I Didn't Enter

Apparently I'm now the Northeast regional finalist for something. Briefing is at 9.

For entertainment purposes only

The scenario

You got an email this morning congratulating you on advancing to the regional finals of a competition you have no memory of entering, and the briefing is mandatory.

The email was very enthusiastic. It used your full legal name. It referenced your 'submission' (which you did not submit), your 'category' (which you cannot identify), and your 'training schedule' (which begins today). There is a flight booked. There is a coach assigned. There is a sponsor.

You're not going to argue with it. You're going to show up, smile, and find out what you've won. You'll let everyone know.

Why it works

Plays into the 'fake it til you make it' fantasy. Everyone has imagined being randomly drafted into greatness. This is that, plus an excuse for being unreachable.

How to deliver it

  • Refuse to elaborate on the category.
  • Mention the sponsor by suggesting it's 'a brand you'd recognize.'
  • Promise a debrief. Don't deliver one.
  • Return wearing a small lanyard.

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