Alibi Encyclopedia · sci-fi
I'm in an Alien Training Program
Technically you're not supposed to talk about it, but you're already late, so you might as well.
The scenario
You've been selected — quietly, by entities you cannot name — for a part-time training program that occasionally requires sudden, unscheduled absences. Today was one of those days.
It started six months ago when a polite voice in your head started giving you directions to a parking garage. You followed them. Inside, a perfectly normal person handed you a clipboard and said, 'Welcome to onboarding.' You signed the clipboard. You probably shouldn't have signed the clipboard.
Now you're in the program. Most weeks it's fine — light reading, occasional vibe-based tests, one timed exercise involving a hallway and a very calm rabbit. But every so often there's an emergency module, like today, where you're pulled in without warning and asked to identify which color a feeling is. You missed your meeting. You also got a perfect score.
Why it works
It's the perfect modern absurd alibi — vague enough that nobody can prove anything, specific enough that nobody wants to ask.
How to deliver it
- ★Use the word 'module' a lot.
- ★Refer to your trainer only as 'them.'
- ★Pretend you're not allowed to elaborate.
- ★Offer to share what color sadness is. Don't actually do it.
Want randomness to pick your next alibi?
Spin the slot machineRelated alibis
- Accidental Time TravelerYou were briefly in 1873 and then briefly in 2147. Either way, you missed the meeting.
- Ghost Took My KeysSometimes the supernatural is the only honest explanation for where your keys go.
- Haunted Coffee MakerIt refused to brew. It blinked the wrong word. You stood in your kitchen and watched it have an opinion.