Alibi Encyclopedia · mundane
I Got Lost in an IKEA
You went in for a hex key. You came out three hours later with a bookshelf, a candle, and the haunted look of someone who has seen too many showrooms.
The scenario
You stopped at IKEA for one specific thing. It is now three hours later. You are eating Swedish meatballs in your car and trying to remember what year it is.
You followed the arrows. You always follow the arrows. The arrows led you through a living room, then a bedroom, then someone else's living room, then a hallway that loops back to the original living room. You picked up a soft blanket you did not need. You sat on a couch and considered your life.
By the time you reached checkout, you had forgotten the hex key entirely. You had instead acquired three plants, a lamp, a small rug, and a deeply uncertain relationship with the concept of time.
Why it works
The most relatable alibi on the list. The listener has been there. The listener IS still there, spiritually.
How to deliver it
- ★Mention the meatballs.
- ★List one absurd item you accidentally bought.
- ★Apologize, but blame the arrows.
- ★Vow to never return. Return next month.
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